Jennie sorry for your loss of your friend. Wish I could have been there to help show her she would have been better off without him. I have walked her walk maybe even plus some and it wasn't easy so I seriously can say.
Betlinsmom, no one has said if you're being physically abused just stand there and take it. Just the opposite! There was no mention of physical abuse only verbal, in the original post, when the fry pan was used. If there was any physical force then by all means grab whatever you can, otherwise leave the relationship as it will probably get worse. You can leave when he isn't there if you can't leave when he is.
It seems Clsurz was lucky it worked for her(glad for her it did!!)but for many this could cause worse problems. I do respect the way Clsurz pointed out to her friend's husband that his wife's interests were as important as his. Honestly she sounds like she has a quick mind and would be a blast to be around. Yes we all, need to stand up against abusers and support the abused. Those being abused need to get out. It is a deep hole to get out of and lots to fight along the way. You have to fight your feelings towards that person(believe it or not even though you're being abused, at first there are still feelings), fear of that person, fear of not being able to make it on your own, fear of not being able to take care of you kids, fear of what others will think of you, ...............
To anyone who tells me not to judge what I don't know....well you don't know me or what I have been through and I still stand by what I have written, based on what was written. A fry pan to the head, for verbal abuse only, is WRONG.