Sorry for your loss! My FIL passed 2 weeks ago and I had DH collect his clothes for me. I'm going to make a quilt for DH and his brothers. There are 4 of them. I felt like a waitress because they were giving me orders on what they wanted. I told DH Their getting what I give them. I was doing this out of kindness. Now it's feeling like an obligation. I'll get over it .