I've always thought flowers at a funeral never made much sense. A flower from each close family member to place on the coffin/grave is healing and symbolic and that to me is much better then to be swamped with flower arrangements. I've never seen a request for flowers in an obituary so why send them? A handwritten note, a visit, or donation to the family is much more appreciated long after the flowers are forgotten.
I have told everyone in the family, I will be covered with quilt of my DD's choice. If I'm not cremated, which I think is the best choice.