I had a DIL just like her. She is no longer part of the family, thank goodness. She is now 52, miserable, alone, and few friends. Those friends pity her more than like her, and feel she is mentally ill. DS's siblings asked him what took him so long to get out of that marriage. His reply was that he was protecting the kids and trying to keep their lives normal. They try not to spend much time with their mother when they're home.