It is always so hard- DH has 4 grand-kids and their mother continues to make poor choices- as a result I always get 5 outfits, socks and underwear for each of the kids and 1 toy for birthdays, when school starts and Christmas and new winter coats every year. She does not interact with anyone else in the family so it is just us. DH thinks they need more toys; I always tell him that they need clothes, not toys that will be played with once or twice and then forgotten; besides with 4 kids she has more than enough toys for them all to play with!!! My GD is the same as her parents also make poor choices so I always send "practical" items for her.