I really agree with helping your daughter, in whatever ways she needs, to make the quilt. We don't have to have a friendship relationship with our ex or even see them ever again if it weren't for the children. Essentially, your children are part you and part him. You love your daughter and he is her dad. I'll bet this can be a very rewarding experience. I believe you will reap tremendous blessings from this if you can work and give with a good attitude. The story on "thatgirlthatquilt" is precious.
Somehow, some way, the anger and pain we have from these broken marriages has to be dealt with. That anger and that pain we try to bury within us will affect us spiritually, mentally and physically if we don't forgive. It doesn't hurt them, it hurts us. I certainly don't want to sound preachy or goody-goody. I say this because I have done some reaping in these areas. Not fun.
I went through a terrible divorce experience with a man who has kept coming back and tries all he can to get me to come back to him. I am only saying this because I've had the divorce experience in my life and I won't for my own health, have any type of relationship with him. I don't get angry, I just do everything I can to hold my boundaries. If I speak with my children (adults) about their dad, I do so with compassion for him. My letting go and healing came with a lot of time, counselling and prayer.