how old is your daughter? I think I would have a heart to heart talk with her explaining your feeling about the situation and sort of offer a compromise. If you have a LQS maybe they have a beginners class that you could offer to pay for so that she can do this with someone not emotional involved, or a quilting friend who could be the overseer of this project instead of you. That way she can still make the quilt but you would not have to be involved.