I would help her - you're doing it for her, not him. I have made quilts for my grandson (too young to do it himself) to give 2 half brothers. I did it for him - certainly not them or their mother who I despise to put it mildly! I used simple patterns that we appliqued his hand prints on them. He was thrilled and it didn't hurt me knowing that I was doing it out of my love for him, not my feelings for his mother.