Sadiemae, I can almost identify with you. I started crying this week thinking about when I would be a widow. I know I shouldn't anticipate sorrow and should just be so happy I still have my husband alive, but sometimes the knowledge that I won't have him always comes and it makes me so sad. I hope you can cope in whatever way works for you, and that memories can comfort you. And that you can feel God's love close to you when we celebrate this time of remembering the birth of Christ.