Originally Posted by
Murphy1
It is even worse if it is your son. Because he doesn't answer emails, texts, phone messages or acknowledge gifts sent, this is super hurtful. We had a wonderful, no stress relationship for 32 years, then he married a woman who didn't want us in the picture. Soooo I think of what it must have been like for moms over one hundred years ago when their sons left for parts unknown. They must have wondered about them, just as I do, but then they didn't have iPhones, computers and digital imaging to keep in touch. I wonder what my son's excuse is? Sadly, when we were my son's age, my husband and I only had one parent (my Mom) still living. It is harder I think to realize our son has both parents, but he has chosen to throw us and his sister away. I wonder if regrets will ever cross his mind. I don't think I will ever know. Has this happened to others here?
Murphy, I am so sorry you have been hurt this way.
I, too, was alienated from my older daughter for several years after the birth of her son when I was unable to be there for her - a story for another time.
After years of unanswered calls and rejected messages, finally I could stand my broken heart no longer. I decided she needed to know about my life, even if she chose not to share hers with me. I began to write her a snail mail letter every Sunday, just a few sentences of happy things, doings of my week, memories of her earlier years, reminiscences of my young years, goals for the future, sweet jokes, things I'd read about in the news....that sort of thing. Light, loving, sweet. Every week.
After four months I received a letter back from her. Glory!
I continued to write to her week after week.
And before 18 months were over she brought her little son, whom I'd not seen in over 5 years, to visit for 5 days with me in Texas. Her younger sister came down to spend 2 days with us and we had the most delightful time all together.
I urge you to hang in there. Reach out, without ANY recrimination or sadness, without pressure or demand, just love as a mother, and I believe you will see him change as he begins to see what he is missing.
I will pray for your family.
Jan in VA