I'm saddend but glad that i'm not the only one with family problems. My mom doesn't understand now why my youngest son will not speak to her. When my grandaughter (oldest sons child) was a year old they were here from ID for her first birthday party. While the party was in full swing at the pizza place my mom called my oldest son and his wife to wish the grandaughter a happy birthday. My youngest son sat there with tears in his eyes because when it was his son's birthday a few months earlier, she didn't even acknowledge it. No card, no calll, no gift. This broke my heart watching this play out. I have given my mom his phone number 5 or 6 times and she always seems to loose it. When the boys were growing up it played the same way, every holiday, birthday, special occasion my sisters kids got the attention and my kids were ignored. She thinks now that she is in her 80's I should make them have some kind of relationship with her, but they are mid and late twenty's. Frankly I don't blame them for their attitueds. I try to cut her a little slack with me because I know what kind of childhood she had growing up, but I have sworn I would do better and try. I never miss a holiday or birthday.
My oldest son's wife doesn't think I do enough to be able to see the grandaughter, like come visit. When we did visit when she was born we left earlier than planned because we were made to feel like intruders. I won't drive back there to be treated that way. Financially right now it is difficult to put that much money aside at once. They were here just before Thanksgiving, stayed with her parents and in the 5 days they were here, we didn't see our grandaughter once. That is why I say, I wonder if the letters will work for bridging that gap of contact with her.
That is why I say I have my sisters of choice. I am closer to them than my own and prefer their company anyways. I also get along great with my in-laws but since the parents passed away everyone has gone their own way and we live in different places.
I hope everyone of us can find a way to move on from the hurt those who move in and out of our lives can cause.