Jan in VA thank you for your kind and hopeful words. I keep telling myself this is the last effort and I will let it rest in 2012, then I read what you did and can see that perhaps one day things will be different if I don't close the door completely. It has been 7 years, but maybe as you say I drop a line once in awhile - not letting myself get full of expectation, I might someday be surprised. So as I get ready to deliver the holiday packages and goodies, I will write a note of cheerfulness and let it be. Maybe in a few years, when he reflexs on the wonderful family he has ignored, he will return the effort. Thanks again, I will continue to be hopeful. Grateful for what I have in my small family that is still a part of my life.
Have a happy holiday season and a healthy new year.
Murphy1 aka Nancy
Originally Posted by
Jan in VA
Murphy, I am so sorry you have been hurt this way.
I, too, was alienated from my older daughter for several years after the birth of her son when I was unable to be there for her - a story for another time.
After years of unanswered calls and rejected messages, finally I could stand my broken heart no longer. I decided she needed to know about my life, even if she chose not to share hers with me. I began to write her a snail mail letter every Sunday, just a few sentences of happy things, doings of my week, memories of her earlier years, reminiscences of my young years, goals for the future, sweet jokes, things I'd read about in the news....that sort of thing. Light, loving, sweet. Every week.
After four months I received a letter back from her. Glory!
I continued to write to her week after week.
And before 18 months were over she brought her little son, whom I'd not seen in over 5 years, to visit for 5 days with me in Texas. Her younger sister came down to spend 2 days with us and we had the most delightful time all together.
I urge you to hang in there. Reach out, without ANY recrimination or sadness, without pressure or demand, just love as a mother, and I believe you will see him change as he begins to see what he is missing.
I will pray for your family.
Jan in VA