I can think of a few.....one day I was washing dishes and my neice came into the kitchen, I said Hi! What's Uncle Ira doing? She replied 'diggin in his nuts'......I looked at her and said as calmly as I could...'what?' She said it again. I calmly walked to our bed room and sure enough he had his hands in his can of cashews! I still laugh about that one.
Another time my friends husband said 'How do I look? I've been using special cream for my hawk eyes' I cracked up!! He meant crows feet!!!! One more....my friend told me that our mutual friend was talking about a pet that his wife wants. 'Mary wants a faggot! But I dont want a faggot because they smell bad and run all over the place. '