My Grandpa would mix up sayings and I have a hard time remembering how they really are. (Unfortunately they are in German and don't translate).
DH suggested that we should put a crouton in the guest room when we were remodeling. I asked him if plain was good enough or if the cheese and herb type would be better. Since then we put foutons on our salad and sleep on croutons. He also got really confused when the waiter at a nice restaurant asked him if he should bring a caraffe of wine. I answered the waiter no. When the waiter left Pat asked me why the waiter wanted to bring him a giraffe. We still laugh about that one too.
I learned English as a second language so I had some confusion with words. I kept telling people that I douched twice a day (thinking that "douche" equals "duschen/to shower") There were many pink faces and NOBODY told me.
In the same vein, I got up one night when the neighbor's rooster was crowing under our window at 2 in the morning to go over there and get that rooster sorted out. What I told my DH when he asked where I was going was "I'm gonna tell that neighbor that I'm going to choke his chicken. Pat did explain why that wasn't a good idea. lol