My mother is gone now, but had to go to a nursing home when she passed out from undiagnosed diabetes. We had hoped she'd be able to go to home, but found the diabetes was caused by cancer. Putting her in a home was so traumatic for her. She was a very independent woman who raised her 3 kids by herself & helped care for her father as well. We all felt so terrible for her even if she tried to lay on a guilt trip.
I decided that while I was of sound mind and body, I'd warn my kids that I will probably do the same. But -- they should know right now that will not be the real me and I do NOT want them to feel guilty whatever I do then. Hopefully, this will prevent the guilt that I felt and couldn't do anything about. I'm glad I had that discussion and can only hope that they will remember it.