Originally Posted by butterflywing

there must be something wrong with me. when i give a gift, i take into consideration what the person wants, needs, likes. what size, color, etc.
sometimes it's a giftcard. sometimes a toolchest. sometimes a gift of jewelry. but it's always for that person.

that MIL is not doing that. SHE's having fun, doing what SHE likes to do, making quilts. SHE gets satisfaction winnings ribbons. that's fine. if she then wants to pass them along - great! but they are not xmas gifts to anyone else but herself. anyone who gets them is lucky. but let's not confuse gifting with shedding. she gives these quilts once she has no use for them. if she made a quilt for each person and gave it for the pleasure of the intended person, then it would really be a gift. this way she wants three-for-the-money. 1- the joy of the making 2- the pride of the winning and lastly, 3 - the gratitude of the recipient. note the order of importance here.

what if the dil really wanted slipcovers for her carseats? and the kids wanted some electronic game? what if she actually had to forgo buying fabric in order to give someone else the gift they really wanted? in other words, a gift of the heart. what then?

from that paragraph, the dil is not expressing herself well, but she knows that what she's getting IS unneeded castoffs. regardless of their beauty and/or value. that mil has put herself first. that is not a true gift.

shoot me at dawn.