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Old 03-21-2012, 09:21 AM
  #40  
MacThayer
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Nevada
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You've received a lot of good advice in this post. Take time to digest it. Put it to good use. If I were you, I'd let that lovely woman from Wisconsin design a quilt for you, and I'd let family members help you by adding quilt blocks. Now is not the time to be a hero. You need help in order to help your sister, and you weren't shy about asking for it here, rightfully so. You can't shoulder it alone. Others will want to help, so let them.

As an NP who has worked with cancer patients, I can tell you that 5 years is a very long time. Then there will be the follow-ups which will go on for years longer. You must not exhaust yourself. Your sister will have many needs, and you don't have to fulfill every one. You can coordinate. If you love to quilt and sew, that it great, because I can tell you that one lap quilt won't last 5 years under these circumstances, and she will need other things as well. A quilt to lie under on the couch at home would be lovely. Put that on your longer term "to do" list, and perhaps you can work on blocks while you wait for your sister in chemo. Perhaps that's another thing where other family members can add blocks. You'll have more time. You could incorporate picture blocks, do embroidery work, use pieces from the clothes of loved ones, that sort of thing.

She will also need head scarves. Even if her hair does not fall out, and I'm not saying it will. Not everyone experiences that side effect. It will depend on the chemo. If it does, she will REALLY need head scarves, lots of them, to coordinate with her clothes. They're easy to make, so make them bright and pretty and flattering to her skin. Even if her hair does not fall out, it is so nice to just throw a scarf over one's hair before you go to chemo. That way you don't have to fuss with your hair, you look neat, your "getting ready" time is reduced, and it's nice to know you look as good as you can without a lot of fuss. It's so important to these people to look as good as possible, really lifts their spirits. Fancy scarves around the neck in summer can do the same thing. Warm neck scarves in winter are wonderful for helping to keep people warm, and to help them look good. Does anyone in your family knit or crochet? Can you work out doing coordinated head and neck scarves. It's always awesome when you see that! And slippers and socks! Lovely to keep their feet warm, but don't forget to put those "grippers" on the bottom or the nurses will have to take them away (not that they want to) and give them those flimsy slippers with grips on the bottom. It's a safety issue. And if she still gets cold in chemo, because they are often done in big, open rooms that tend to get cold, get her some long underwear. It really helps. Keeping her cozy, especially in winter or air conditioning, and surrounding her with reminders of loving family, will do more to help her get through this than any medication the nurses could give her.

And check on the food situation. If she's there over lunch, but doesn't spend "X" hours in the outpatient setting, she may not get lunch from the hospital. (Talk about dumbest rules. . . ) Just warning you! Still, a little something from home may be the best thing for her, along with her favorite beverage. Take something she likes and her favorite beverage in any case. It will take you a while to figure out if there's any where you could buy a little lunch (or dinner) for her if she doesn't get hospital food (which is yucky anyway -- have eaten enough of it myself). And don't forget about yourself! You'll need to eat and drink while you're there! At the very least, take food and beverages with you the first couple of times, until you know the score. There's nothing worse than starving your way through chemo, and it doesn't usually give you nausea during the first treatments.

Make friends with the nurses there. They really are on your side.

Best of luck! You and your sister are in my prayers.
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