Don't give up. When my neice bought her LA she said the same thing. She felt so guilty spending the money. she was ready to send it back. everyone incouraged her, and she hung in there, 2 years later she is quilting for ladies all over the U.S. and has even quilted for Meg Hawkey, the designer of Crabapple Hill Designs. I just entered a quilt she quilted for me in a Quilt show and won Best in Catagory, I got 100 points out of a possible 100. Most of what she does is free hand. Keep practising and don't be so hard on yourself. Some of us ladies on here will be sending you our quilts before you know it!!