I don't have kids of my own but generally get Christmas gifts for nieces & nephews, but lucky to receive a Christmas card from the 'boys' much less a thank you card in return. Nieces are more likely to respond.
Stepkids (who are in mid-late 40's) have never bought their dad a gift since I've known them. But, they certainly count on gifts for annual occasions from their father, who remains way-too-nice.
What we afford are gifts of thought for nieces & nephews, not expensive but to let them know we think of them though they live far away. However, the stepkids receive generously but don't reciprocate in any form.
I heard somewhere that at some point, you give a gift to a charity and do it in honor of the 'recipient' you're acknowledging. Charities send thank you letters and gifts are put to good use. I need to remember to do this next year. As for stepkids, it's not my call, but it makes me angry they don't give something thoughtful to their dad for his birthday, Christmas or Father's Day!