Sorry for your experience and hope that "plan B" works out for you.
Here is another possible reason someone would Wash in hot water and Dry on hot.
If you have children and I know some of you do, some children have been known to bring home stowaways. Yes ladies I am talking about lice. No matter how clean you are, you can get them. Now if you have ever had to rid bedding of them short of dry cleaning you know that washing and drying on the "hot" setting is the only way to kill them.
If I had a quilt that I put my time and effort into I think I would have done the same thing.