I think perhaps the problem might be in the way many of the LQS owners you all describe think of their shops. By the sound of the issues many of you have with them, these owners do not treat their shops as a business. They do not apply sound business principles...convenient hours, friendly service, competitive prices, that kind of thing. In a good business model, the customers come first and the owner strives to keep them coming back by meeting their needs and offering new ideas and services.
I'm betting many of your shops opened up because the owner wanted to hang out with her quilting friends in a place where she could buy what she wanted to buy, offer classes she wanted to offer and be open the hours she wanted to be open all while making a salary and claiming the costs as business expenses. It's understandable, but it's not professional. That's not a business, it's a club and as a non-member, no wonder you feel like you don't belong!