I prefer demonstrations rather than the actual sewing, etc. I can concentrate on the technique instead of listening/watching while I try to do it myself. First of all, hauling the machine and supplies, setting it all up and getting to work takes up so much of the time. Where, at home, all is ready to go. We have a sit and sew at our church occasionally and by the time I am ready to sew, I'm pooped. The last time I was there, I brought home a stack of pieces that had been cut out and did the sewing at home. (We make shirts for preemies.)
As far as feeling like an outsider, the more you go the more the others will learn to know you. You will be one of the gang in no time. Don't give up.