I used to use my dog's name when signing up for stuff, so I would always know it was a telemarketer if I got calls/messages/mail in his name.
One day I got a call for him saying he'd been pre-approved for a Visa card. It ended up really hilarious because I kept saying things like, "Oh he works for me as a household guard and companion but I don't pay him a wage, he just earns room and board." They said that was fine if I was willing to cosign. I said that would be great, "He'd love to buy his own food and toys!" At the end she said she just needed to send a form for him and for me to sign and we'd be all set. I said, "Oh, that's going to be a problem, he can't sign his name. He doesn't have any hands, you see." She hesitated and asked if he was handicapped and I said, "Oh no, that's just how he was born, he has paws instead." She hesitates again..."Paws?" "OH yes, he's a dog!" "Oh I'm sorry ma'am, we can't give a credit card to a dog!" Then I start wailing, "BUT YOU SAID HE WAS PRE-APPROVED! He's a really GOOD dog, he deserves a Visa card!"
I can only imagine the stories that girl had after that conversation, about the insane woman who wanted a Visa card for her dog. LOL I wish I could have recorded it, it'd be YouTube gold!