My husband looks at some of the youth group kids like they need him - I tried to talk him out of it but he felt it was such an honor to be asked and really wanted to be there for them. I don't think they even realize the out of pocket expense involved. A friend of ours tried to tell him he should have declined but my DH said he wouldn't do that to the bride. (He has known her since she was 9 years old - I think she is 21 now.)