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Thread: Wedding Registries

  1. #1
    Super Member Sandygirl's Avatar
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    Wedding Registries

    I realize that we live in a different world. Etiquette has been redefined. New traditions are adopted.

    Recently I received a wedding invitation in the mail. Included in the general info regarding the date, place, etc, it included links to their wedding website. On the site was a section to RSVP to the wedding.
    There are photos identifying the wedding party complete with their names and their role in the event. How nice!

    Also, a couple of gift registry links were included. Not stopping at that, there is link to the "HoneyFund" website! It gives you the opportunity to contribute money to their Hawaiian honeymoon. There are options to contribute to the airfare, the meals, activities, such as a para-sailing activity! Each category has a suggested dollar amount to start at. Your choice! WOW! So convenient!

    i only wish that there was a section for the happy couple to allow you to choose a "thank you" note for the generosity of your gift giving. Perhaps it should include a secret code to be entered upon recieving their gift. This would generate an inpersonal "thank you" back to the giver.

    sandy
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  2. #2
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    If people can't be bothered to slap a stamp on an invitation, I can't be bothered in going or sending a gift.

  3. #3
    Power Poster nativetexan's Avatar
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    "So convenient!" Times, they are a changing!

  4. #4
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    When it rains it pours with invitations lately. My husband has been asked to officiate at 2 weddings this summer. He was very honored to be asked. He is not a minister but was one of the youth leaders at the church and both girls came up thru the youth group. In CA you have to register and pay a fee for a one ceremony - it was $80.00 and the couple paid for it because that is less they would pay for a minister and church. The other couple lives 1300 miles away, expect him to pay for the plane trip, hotel, rental car and the $40.00 to become a minister on-line. I was rather upset because I believe they could at least provide him a place to stay for the weekend. At first it was the bride's mother had rented a house and asked him to contribute $125.00 for the weekend - but then someone else wants to stay there so my husband has to go to a hotel. And my husband has recently lost a lot of weight, so we have another $200.00 cost for alterations to his suit. And yes, they had the audacity to send a note stating where they are registered. Not to mention they are already living together and have a child so want to go on a trip. I mentioned to my husband I believe we have spent enough on this union and was ultra surprised when he agreed.

    My husband has been joking about the on-line minister deal - guess it is legal in a lot of states. Told him it is crap and he knows it. The minister is our church helped him with the wording of his part, but said he agreed with me. There is a lot of education to be an ordained minister and to buy it on the internet is just wrong.

  5. #5
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    Your hubby is a good guy to have agreed to do the wedding1300 miles away. Based on the cost, he should have declined by sending his regrets and wishing them well.
    Fabric is like money, no matter how much you have it's never enough.

  6. #6
    Super Member Kassaundra's Avatar
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    At least you were actually invited to the wedding. Someone on another site (gardening one) was talking about an "invitation" they got to give a wedding gift, but not to attend the wedding!
    "Never cruel, nor cowardly, never give up, never give in."

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  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by quiltingcandy View Post
    When it rains it pours with invitations lately. My husband has been asked to officiate at 2 weddings this summer. He was very honored to be asked. He is not a minister but was one of the youth leaders at the church and both girls came up thru the youth group. In CA you have to register and pay a fee for a one ceremony - it was $80.00 and the couple paid for it because that is less they would pay for a minister and church. The other couple lives 1300 miles away, expect him to pay for the plane trip, hotel, rental car and the $40.00 to become a minister on-line. I was rather upset because I believe they could at least provide him a place to stay for the weekend. At first it was the bride's mother had rented a house and asked him to contribute $125.00 for the weekend - but then someone else wants to stay there so my husband has to go to a hotel. And my husband has recently lost a lot of weight, so we have another $200.00 cost for alterations to his suit. And yes, they had the audacity to send a note stating where they are registered. Not to mention they are already living together and have a child so want to go on a trip. I mentioned to my husband I believe we have spent enough on this union and was ultra surprised when he agreed.

    My husband has been joking about the on-line minister deal - guess it is legal in a lot of states. Told him it is crap and he knows it. The minister is our church helped him with the wording of his part, but said he agreed with me. There is a lot of education to be an ordained minister and to buy it on the internet is just wrong.
    He agreed to do the second one???????????????????

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sandygirl View Post
    I realize that we live in a different world. Etiquette has been redefined. New traditions are adopted.

    Recently I received a wedding invitation in the mail. Included in the general info regarding the date, place, etc, it included links to their wedding website. On the site was a section to RSVP to the wedding.
    There are photos identifying the wedding party complete with their names and their role in the event. How nice!

    Also, a couple of gift registry links were included. Not stopping at that, there is link to the "HoneyFund" website! It gives you the opportunity to contribute money to their Hawaiian honeymoon. There are options to contribute to the airfare, the meals, activities, such as a para-sailing activity! Each category has a suggested dollar amount to start at. Your choice! WOW! So convenient!

    i only wish that there was a section for the happy couple to allow you to choose a "thank you" note for the generosity of your gift giving. Perhaps it should include a secret code to be entered upon recieving their gift. This would generate an inpersonal "thank you" back to the giver.

    sandy
    I suppose all that info is meant to make it "easy" to choose "something that the couple can use/want"

  9. #9
    Super Member Sandygirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BETTY62 View Post
    Your hubby is a good guy to have agreed to do the wedding1300 miles away. Based on the cost, he should have declined by sending his regrets and wishing them well.
    L

    what is in it for him to officiate??? I am confused...no one else is available in their town to officiate a wedding? ALL expenses plus payment to officiate should be covered by the bride and groom. I really dont understand why he accepted to travel so far on his own dime.

    Sandy
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  10. #10
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    My husband looks at some of the youth group kids like they need him - I tried to talk him out of it but he felt it was such an honor to be asked and really wanted to be there for them. I don't think they even realize the out of pocket expense involved. A friend of ours tried to tell him he should have declined but my DH said he wouldn't do that to the bride. (He has known her since she was 9 years old - I think she is 21 now.)

  11. #11
    Power Poster lynnie's Avatar
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    the only thing worse is the destination weddings. they expect you to take your vacation where they want, and for how long they want. you must fly to where they want it to be and still give a gift, and...do activities they want you to do. talk about having moxie!!!!
    put off till tomorrow what you can do today, and if you procrastinate long enough, you may never have to do it.

  12. #12
    Super Member Sandygirl's Avatar
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    I don't go to destination weddings. If one chooses to have their ceremony on a beach or wherever , they should expect lessattendees, which, I believe is their intent anyway. The sister of a good friend of mine had a destination wedding. Her only sister could not attend because the school year had just started. (she is a teacher) to this day, my friend is still sad that she could not attend her only sisters' wedding. I thought it was very selfish on the brides' part. But, one makes choices and some have consequences.

    sandy
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  13. #13
    Super Member ptquilts's Avatar
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    I remember when couples got married at their parish church and had the reception in an Elks hall or some such place. Lots of fun they were too!

  14. #14
    Power Poster Onebyone's Avatar
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    Any invitation I get that has 'Entitlement' all over it, I throw it in the trash. I'm not paying for a honeymoon. If the couple can't afford one then they don't need to go on one. I guess later they will be sending out invitations to pay their house payment.
    I believe giving what I can will never cause me to be in need.
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  15. #15
    Power Poster ManiacQuilter2's Avatar
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    Yes, this generation is so into technology but they have a tendency to forget about the Thank-you notes.
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  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Onebyone View Post
    Any invitation I get that has 'Entitlement' all over it, I throw it in the trash. I'm not paying for a honeymoon. If the couple can't afford one then they don't need to go on one. I guess later they will be sending out invitations to pay their house payment.

    Funny!
    Recently heard, was not invited/would not have gone if was/ a couple getting married on the brides parents dime---20k....they had to remortgage their house to pay for this shindig! Odd thing...couple are both college grads, teachers, have lived together for over two yrs in a house they bought...brother of bride was officiating...college student..not a minister..I guess got a license on the internet or something....I don't want to know!

    I have gone to two of these " modern" weddings in the last 4 yrs, both couples are now divorced!

  17. #17
    Super Member coopah's Avatar
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    Gets crazy, doesn't it? The older I get, the easier it is to say, "No."
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  18. #18
    Super Member citruscountyquilter's Avatar
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    In Florida notaries can officiate at weddings so when I was at the local UPS store getting some photocopying done I noticed a sign that for $30 you could get married at the UPS store. I asked them if anyone had gotten married there and they said they had done a few.
    Romance has taken on a new meaning!

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    Quote Originally Posted by quiltingcandy View Post
    My husband looks at some of the youth group kids like they need him - I tried to talk him out of it but he felt it was such an honor to be asked and really wanted to be there for them. I don't think they even realize the out of pocket expense involved. A friend of ours tried to tell him he should have declined but my DH said he wouldn't do that to the bride. (He has known her since she was 9 years old - I think she is 21 now.)
    I can see your husband's side. Here are kids who he helped and now out of all the people they know, they want someone who is still important to them to do this, make it personal. I also agree, they probably don't realize the cost its costing him, most young people don't and most think you have more than whats there because you learn to live in your means and not over do it. It would be great if they at least helped pay but maybe they dont' have the funds either or like I said, the don't realize the cost so therefore it doesn't occur to them to help out.

    It's nice to help out and mentor these young kids and most of the time you never know if it'll be worth it in the future. You never know how someone will turn out. At least a few of these kids realized this and want that important person to share in something as important and personal as it gets, their wedding, their future. He's a good guy for doing this.
    Judy

  20. #20
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    I'm with Tartan, if I don't get a traditional invitation in the mail, then they don't get a traditional gift that costs money. If they throw out tradition, I can too.

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    We received an invitation on line for a wedding reception. The couple had over exceeded their budget for the wedding and were requesting monetary gifts for their honeymoon. I kept looking at the invitation. Yep were invited to the reception and needed to have the invitation and copy of a reply email and receipt of payment for the honeymoon to be allowed entrance into the reception hall. Then it would be a cash bar. Showed it to DH. Our reply was "BEST WISHES" will not be attending and saving our money for our 'second honeymoon".
    Quote Originally Posted by Onebyone View Post
    Any invitation I get that has 'Entitlement' all over it, I throw it in the trash. I'm not paying for a honeymoon. If the couple can't afford one then they don't need to go on one. I guess later they will be sending out invitations to pay their house payment.

  22. #22
    Super Member Sandygirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by toverly View Post
    I'm with Tartan, if I don't get a traditional invitation in the mail, then they don't get a traditional gift that costs money. If they throw out tradition, I can too.
    AGREE! Makes it so much easier, doesn't it? I want to see couple commit to a life together. Put the greed aside and have a meaningful event that does not scream People Magazine. Yawn.
    Sandy
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  23. #23
    Senior Member Tudey's Avatar
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    Well, she did say she received the invitation in the mail...If people can't be bothered to slap a stamp on an invitation, I can't be bothered in going or sending a gift.[/COLOR][/B][/QUOTE]
    Who needs therapy? I quilt!

  24. #24
    Super Member Sandygirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tessagin View Post
    We received an invitation on line for a wedding reception. The couple had over exceeded their budget for the wedding and were requesting monetary gifts for their honeymoon. I kept looking at the invitation. Yep were invited to the reception and needed to have the invitation and copy of a reply email and receipt of payment for the honeymoon to be allowed entrance into the reception hall. Then it would be a cash bar. Showed it to DH. Our reply was "BEST WISHES" will not be attending and saving our money for our 'second honeymoon".

    I read this 3 times before I fully undestood the price of admission! Wow!! Love your response!

    Sandy
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  25. #25
    MCH
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    The wedding industry is going strong. The marketing is over the top. I hesitate to use the phrase, "In my day, a couple got married in the church or pastor's office, or at a Justice of the Peace's. Sometimes there was a reception or other bridal party festivity afterwards. The honeymoon wasn't something paid for by 'guests'".

    However, my husband and I both will make the point that couples focus more energy, time, effort, and money on the wedding than on the marriage. I'm watching one of these "focus more on the wedding than on the marriage" scenarios unfold now. And yes, the couple has been shacking up / "playing house" for more than a year. I see this and ask myself, "Do either of them have any respect for the other?" And I always thought I was rather "laissez-faire" about all this, but as I've become older (much older), observation, experience, and history have caused me to modify my perception of "modern" vs tradition. I am a bit saddened to consider that which is today's "modern" could be tomorrow's "tradition".
    MCH aka PansyRose
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