Originally Posted by aliaslaceygreen
Originally Posted by JanetM
Originally Posted by aliaslaceygreen
Originally Posted by JanetM
Originally Posted by sylvia77
My husband complains if I want to spend money on fabric, if it's only $5.00! I have to sneak it in so he doesn't get mad. Does anyone else have this problem?
I've been thinking about your message for a couple of days now and am really bothered by it.
I am sorry when I hear other woman saying they have to ask permission in order to spend money. It doesn't matter who earns the paycheck. In a marriage you are a team.
I think both parties have to understand their budget, but perhaps the two of you could determine the amount of money each of you could spend monthly without having to account for each penny. After bills are paid, and groceries are bought, it might only be $10 or $20 for each of you. The point is, that each of you should be able to spend a little money however you see fit, without having to justify to the other how your spent your share.
My husband and I don't have a set amount for ourselves but neither of us overspend and neither of us would make a large purchase without discussing it first.
it just seems to me that you are both adults and asking permission seems like a parent/child situation. Your husband may not "get" your need for fabric, and I'll bet there might be something he likes that doesn't make sense to you. I hope you two can have a conversation about this and come up with a manageable solution. Then if you want to buy fabric, and he wants to spend his money on ??? both of you will be happy.
You know, Janet, just a few days after I joined a thread like this started (seems like a monthly thread, lol)
I posted some thing very similar to your thoughts...
It hurts to read. It hurts to comment too harshly, because we have no ideas what else is going on and we have no ideas if we are speaking to someone in an abusive / destructive relationship
It hurts because here we are, encouraging them to stick up for themselves when really we maybe we should be saying run for your life, ...and how do you know the difference, on line, over the internet?
(I am NOT saying anyone here is in this situation.....please, don't read into this things that are not there.)
I certainly am not trying to encourage Sylvia to get into an argument about this.
I don't know her situation. All I was hoping to do is to encourage her to talk with her husbnd about this situation in the hopes that they could reach some agreement about this money issue.
I ws distressed to hear that $5.00 spent on fabric causes trouble and she feels the need to sneak in fabric to avoid making him mad.
It may be naive of me to think that talking with him might smooth things out. I don't know her situation. I just want the best for her.
Janet, I am 100% IN AGREEMENT with what you said. 100%. I am sorry if you thought otherwise.
No, not at all. I think you make a very good point that communication over the internet is very limited and can be misunderstood.
I hope Sylvia has been keeping up with all of this and knows that we really care.