This can be a tough one.
My ex MIL collects various things, cake tins, mugs, knickknacks, etc, I do not. When xh and I got married she asked me what I collected and said nothing. But when she realized I liked cats, I started to get cat mugs, bags, ornaments etc. I like living breathing cats, not images of cats. One year well between gift giving occasions I told her although I loved that she thought of me (I was married to her son for 5 years before my birthday was acknowledged), I did not like stuff with cat images. I told her I would be happy with one of her homemade cards (they are quite lovely) and no gift. I would have suggested she make a donation in my name to the SPCA or Cat Rescue, but she does not do donations.
I was once given a beautiful quilted set of placemats and tea cozy. They were lovely, but in a colour I truly do not like. I do know that although they were hand made, they had not been made by the giver. I also knew that the giver would not be in my house. I promptly regifted them to a friend (not one in common) for whom the colours were perfect.
I am somewhat amazed when I read comments here about people 'checking up' on a quilt that they gave, to make sure it is being used as expected. Once I give a gift it is gone.
I have two gift quilts under way right now. One if for my son, he chose many of the fabrics, so he has been involved from the beginning. The other is for a friend's baby. It is bright and bold. I hope it gets lots of use, but if not, that is okay, it is no longer my quilt.
I have made many baby blankets over the years, never give a thought to them after they are given.
I am making myself a beach quilt. It will be used on sand, grass and anywhere else that I need a picnic blanket.
Both my grandmothers were incredible needle workers, from knitting to embroidery, sewing and one spinning and weaving. Granny stopped knitting for the grandchildren as she could not afford the yarn. If I checked ahead of time with her about a pattern and bought the yarn, she would knit for me. I was very lucky. But other than my grandmothers and one grandfather who died when I was 8, nobody spends the sort of time and money that goes into a quilt or woodworking project on me.
My mother denigrated quilting for years, even though she has some dear friends who are quilters. She will never get a quilt from me, not because of how she may use it, but because she in incapable of recognizing the effort and expense that went into making it.