You've gotten answers to most of your questions - I'll just offer a couple of other opinions.
I use the liquid starch (Sta-Flo - usually from Walmart) and mix up a solution of about 50/50 in small quantities and use in a generic spray bottle. I'll use the Niagra aerosol when nothing else is around but I find that the liquid mix soaks into the fabric better. Plus, if you have bias edges you're working with, you can mix it stronger and make those pieces stiff as boards if you desired.
Stiletto - I don't have a specifically purchased one. On the odd occasion I need something pointy like that or have a particularly tiny spot, I'll use my stitch ripper as a stiletto. Otherwise, I use the edge of my finger right up against the edge of the foot while feeding fabric to help keep the fabric in place while sewing. Never thought about using the stiletto while ironing to not burn my fingers! Who knew!
Have never used glue in quilting so can't offer any opinions on that particular subject.
Good luck.