I think the amount of fraying is more a function of the fabric than of the washer. I pre-wash everything, and I bought a new top loader to get rid of the front loader that came with this house. (I want to be the one controlling how much water I use - that's not the washer's job IMHO.) I don't see much fraying, and I don't do any preparation of the fabric before it goes in the washer. The small amount of fraying I do have is easily cut off.
If you think your washer destroys fabric, why would you put your clothing in it?