Originally Posted by
Jennifer23
I don't believe in encouraging people to obsess over things that won't actually matter in the long run. Now, if the flaw matters (either artistically or structurally) I will encourage them to fix it, but I think most of the time we need to forgive ourselves the small mistakes and move on.
Mamagrande makes a good point - it's usually beginners who ask this question. I think that telling them it doesn't matter helps them "calibrate" their level of concern. You have to learn to live with some things being less perfect than you want; that's part of handicrafting.
There are levels to self-criticism. I agree, we are our own severest critics, and that isn't necessarily bad. However, people (and especially women) can go way too far. I don't believe in helping people beat themselves up over things that, in the big picture, aren't important enough to warrant that level of concern.
If I say that, I mean nobody to whom it hasn't been pointed out. I feel like that's pretty common in spoken English.
I"m not sure if it's encouraging anyone to obsess over anything to be honest with them and tell them whether you think it looks okay or not. I think its being honest and encouraging people to do better in their quilting. I don't have a problem with being encouraged to do better. How else will I learn? Besides it's not really my place to tell anyone else what their level of concern with their work should be. It's their work, not mine. We all have different ideas of what is okay and what is not.
I also think the says "No one will notice" is a bit dismissive. It's kind of like saying "It's okay. It's just yours and doesn't matter" Just the way I see it.