When one farmer would offer a wage to help and another offered a better wage, we would take the latter because"It made the cheese more binding". How about "As helpful as a screen door on a submarine", and "Don't that just take the cake"? Remember when girls were a bit "fast" and ended up "in a family way". My Mother In Law said something was old when "It was around when Homer was a pup." Never knew who Homer was. "She is a Pain and he is a Headache so they deserve each other." She is as happy as "a mule eating brambles". Can't see the forest for the trees. (More when they surface in my brain, this is fun)