Amen to JJ.
My cousin and I now split the holidays so that no one has total responsibility. We took it over as our mothers aged, and her 86 yr old mom is the only one left. She can be a good cook, but truely does not enjoy cooking. I enjoy it less now that my kids are grown, but still enjoy the get together.
I used paper plates and plastic ware. The host provides the meat, potatoes & gravy, and stuffing if needed. The guests provide the side dishes. The ritual growing up was the same, but we went to grandparents, and as soon as the meal was over the "girls" were all in the kitchen doing clean up and washing ALL of those dishes while the boys were out watching football or napping.
My point is it does not have to be perfect. As long as the people here have a good time, I am happy.
Happy Thanksgiving,
Susan