I was like you, frustrated for years. I kind of feel like you really have to have that aha moment and reaaly get you hand and machine speed down. Thats why many go get stitch regulators simply to never master that simple step. I even got one and realized i was going faster than the regulator and my stitches were no better when i finally mastered the speed which took like 4 years by the way i found out my stitches actually looked better without a regulator imho. It was an expensive lesson to learn