I also have always had "matching" issues but decided my scraps needed to be sorted and used, so I have just started cutting up my scraps for my first scrappy quilt.
I have decided to compromise by making 9 patch scrappy squares, (picking fabric without scrutiny other than to not use the same fabric in the block twice) alternating with a block of a single co-ordinating fabric.
This seems to make me feel a bit more in control at this stage.
Once I have done enough scrappy blocks (which will take a while between other projects) I may be relaxed enough about them to change my mind about using the co-ordinating fabric.
We shall see! In the meantime I am collecting scrappy quilt patterns for inspiration.