It's all okay. Yes, you are depressed. If you don't have the energy to do what you want to do in your surroundings, then there's a problem...probably medical not mental....not to alarm you, but to get you to your doctor. Hey, families don't go bad overnight...you've been dealing with them for a long time....might not have been fun, but you had a clean house. Women react differently to medical conditions...and we are usually too good at getting used to not feeling well.
Let yourself take care of you...everyone else can/will do the same for themselves. Life's too short...do only that which matters to you and do that for the right reasons. Hope I haven't jumped too hard...my reply is intended to "Snap" you into seeing this differently...if you felt better you'd be quick to change what you are able to change...and quicker to leave the stuff that you'll have no effect on alone. Kids of all ages have at each other...you've never been able to prevent it and you probably never will...let them work it out their way...your love for them is unconditional...but that may need to be from a distance right now....same with other family...except your spouse...keep him close. You are stronger than you think...and you matter. Hope this helps.