I too know how you are feeling; only it was my own daughter. We had a blended family. We raised my two. When they were younger they readily accepted their step dad but then when the rules came along, it was a totally different story. My daughter started running away when she was 13. By her choice she lived on the streets. I never knew if that dreaded phone call would come. She ended up back on my doorstep 17 and pregnant. She is now 22, married with a family and I cherish my grandbabies and her new found respect for parenting. Just be strong in your beliefs and firm in your commitment and boundaries. It doesn't sound like she knows what she wants. Unfortunately it will be her loss if she doesn't make wise choices. That is a hard pill to swallow but know that you are doing the best you can by her. Just don't cut yourself short. Bless you and your DH for all that you have done for so many children. Too many parents just don't give a damn.