I can not give you advice on teenagers as I don't have any, but I was a teen once much like your foster daughter. I was the same way. The other posters are right..you need to decide what you want to do and stick with it. Being that you are a foster parent, you are very restricted in what you can/can't do. I'm sure the rules are the same for the most part as it is in the states. I can relate to you on foster care though as we adopted our son who we started fostering from birth. Have you spoken to her caseworker?? Do she see a therapist? Maybe you can get into some type of family therapy to help your family get through this rough time. I don't know what form of abuse this girl has gone through, but only you know what is best for your family. I really hope that at the very least she will sit down with you and let you say how you feel. I can only say that she will grow up. She is going to fall eventually..just be there to help her up when she does. That is about all you can do at this point. Also, there is a great board that I belong to..... fosterparents.com I used to post there all the time when I was a foster parent. This site is for foster parents and people with relative placements. There are a few birth parents on there also. They would be able to give you some excellent advice!! I still go and occasionally browse through the board to try and keep current. Check it out, I think it may help you.