So sad for you loss! No doubt, everyone who's lost a pet can feel your pain.
Hardest thing I ever did was put down first one furry baby and, then a couple years later, her sister. I try to remember that, when it's time, its the last loving thing we can do for them. Ever since, I haven't been able to watch tv shows, ads, etc., that show animal abuse. I was sensitive before but now I'm super sensitive.
Hope time heals the pain and leaves only the good memories.