So sorry your DIL is not nice. I don't have sons but so glad I don't have DIL's to please. Being the mom to two daughters I can still say what I want them to hear and I have put them in their place every now and then. I would never let them get away with being rude to their MILs who love the grands as much as I do.
I use Missouri Star Best Blend batting. It's soft, thin, and makes the quilt cuddly even with heavy quilting..