exactly 2wheelwoman- you have to be honest with yourself- my brother used to tell us all he was OK. I would push and ask more questions until he would give in and really talk to me.
I am still very angry with him for what he did to his family, we are just making amends now for all the problems that happened after his death. But life goes on- I am still very sensitive to references to suicide and still belong to my online support group. I don't feel comfortable talking to someone about my deepest innermost feelings so I find I can listen to what others are experiencing and let them know the pain subsides and eventually life goes on. It's becomes a different "normal" but life goes on.
So I get on my soapbox every now and then- to support the meds and therapy and help people dig out their rose colored glasses and see the glass half full and it's time to fill it up.
So I'll get off that soapbox now, dry my eyes (because 5 years later I still bawl my eyes out over his suicide) and get back to packing for my trip.