BJ, Did you lose a husband, plus 3 children, & still have living children? I know the difficulty of dealing with grief & I wish you well in dealing with depression. Have you been to a Grief Support Group. That might help you tremendously & I'd suggest finding one locally.
Have you & your present husband discussed his habits? If you haven't, I'd suggest doing so & there might be a solution whereby he could get a shed or rent a storage unit to store some of his belongings in.
I will be praying for you & your situation. The folks here on the Board do care & would like to help by listening if that would help. TTUL.