71 and pregnant...funny!!!!!
02-15-2011, 07:02 PM
#11
Junior Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Delaware
Posts: 200
A few years ago, DH and I were grocery shopping. As we walk the aisles he starts to hiccup. He tries all the remedy's he can. You know the ones, control your breathing, hold you breath, etc. Now, we have 6 children and the youngest ones(twins) are @ 10 years old. I look at DH and tell him I can get rid of those hiccups for you. He gives me that look, the one that says with out words, yeah right, I'd like to see that. Well, I look up at him and smile very sweetly and say "Honey, I'm pregnant." He stops dead in his tracks, looks me dead in the eye and says,"That's just not funny!" "I know," I said, but the hiccups are gone. he he ". He got a funny look on his face, and then he grinned.
02-16-2011, 04:07 AM
#13
Super Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Nashua, NH
Posts: 1,463
Anyone watch NCIS? This was on the show the last week (forgive me if I louse it up :-) ):
A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of water. The bartender hands him one but then gets his shotgun from under the bar and let's off a round next to the guy's feet! The guy then thanks the bartender, leaves a tip, and goes out the door.
Why did the guy say thanks and leave a tip?
The bartender cured the guy's hiccups!
A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of water. The bartender hands him one but then gets his shotgun from under the bar and let's off a round next to the guy's feet! The guy then thanks the bartender, leaves a tip, and goes out the door.
Why did the guy say thanks and leave a tip?
The bartender cured the guy's hiccups!
02-16-2011, 08:00 AM
#16
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 667
LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT...HAD TO SHARE IT I AM A NURSE AND I REALLY COULD SEE THIS HAPPENING...HA HA HAHA
Originally Posted by Ditter43
A woman went to the doctor's office where she was seen by one of the
younger doctors.
After about four minutes in the examination room, she burst out
screaming as she ran down the hall.
An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told
him her story.
After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another room.
The older doctor marched down the hallway back to where the young doctor
was writing on his clipboard.
"What the hell is the matter with you?!"the older doctor demanded."
Mrs. Terry is 71 years old, has four grown children and seven
grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?"
The younger doctor continued writing and without looking up said,
"Does she still have the hiccups?"
younger doctors.
After about four minutes in the examination room, she burst out
screaming as she ran down the hall.
An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told
him her story.
After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another room.
The older doctor marched down the hallway back to where the young doctor
was writing on his clipboard.
"What the hell is the matter with you?!"the older doctor demanded."
Mrs. Terry is 71 years old, has four grown children and seven
grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?"
The younger doctor continued writing and without looking up said,
"Does she still have the hiccups?"
02-16-2011, 10:39 AM
#17
Super Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Central Arkansas
Posts: 2,559
Originally Posted by Suzan Larrimore
A few years ago, DH and I were grocery shopping. As we walk the aisles he starts to hiccup. He tries all the remedy's he can. You know the ones, control your breathing, hold you breath, etc. Now, we have 6 children and the youngest ones(twins) are @ 10 years old. I look at DH and tell him I can get rid of those hiccups for you. He gives me that look, the one that says with out words, yeah right, I'd like to see that. Well, I look up at him and smile very sweetly and say "Honey, I'm pregnant." He stops dead in his tracks, looks me dead in the eye and says,"That's just not funny!" "I know," I said, but the hiccups are gone. he he ". He got a funny look on his face, and then he grinned.
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
02-16-2011, 01:06 PM
#18
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Montreal
Posts: 376
I worked for an obstetrician once and he said the best infertility treatment was to tell a woman she can't become pregnant and look as if you really mean it. He says every time he told someone that she'd come back pregnant in a few weeks.
There is a safer cure for hiccups - no need to shock someone so much she has a stroke, heart attack or bursts her vocal cords!!
Take a few sips of water and swallow them. Then bend forward at the waist til your torso and hips & legs are at a right angle. Take a mouthful of water and swallow. Two or three mouthfuls of water usually stops hiccups. - The slight pressure of water on the diaphragm in the changed position
will usually stop the little diaphragm spasms we call hiccups.
Hope both these little tips help. I expect to hear of a bunch of new grands in a few months, an not to hear any more hiccups
Nana Nurse
There is a safer cure for hiccups - no need to shock someone so much she has a stroke, heart attack or bursts her vocal cords!!
Take a few sips of water and swallow them. Then bend forward at the waist til your torso and hips & legs are at a right angle. Take a mouthful of water and swallow. Two or three mouthfuls of water usually stops hiccups. - The slight pressure of water on the diaphragm in the changed position
will usually stop the little diaphragm spasms we call hiccups.
Hope both these little tips help. I expect to hear of a bunch of new grands in a few months, an not to hear any more hiccups
Nana Nurse
02-16-2011, 01:16 PM
#19
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Pawnee, Ok.
Posts: 420
Originally Posted by Ditter43
A woman went to the doctor's office where she was seen by one of the
younger doctors.
After about four minutes in the examination room, she burst out
screaming as she ran down the hall.
An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told
him her story.
After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another room.
The older doctor marched down the hallway back to where the young doctor
was writing on his clipboard.
"What the hell is the matter with you?!"the older doctor demanded."
Mrs. Terry is 71 years old, has four grown children and seven
grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?"
The younger doctor continued writing and without looking up said,
"Does she still have the hiccups?"
younger doctors.
After about four minutes in the examination room, she burst out
screaming as she ran down the hall.
An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told
him her story.
After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another room.
The older doctor marched down the hallway back to where the young doctor
was writing on his clipboard.
"What the hell is the matter with you?!"the older doctor demanded."
Mrs. Terry is 71 years old, has four grown children and seven
grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?"
The younger doctor continued writing and without looking up said,
"Does she still have the hiccups?"
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