Too funny! "A Happy Ending."
05-02-2012, 11:32 AM
#1
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Owensboro, KY
Posts: 1,420
Too funny! "A Happy Ending."
CURTAIN RODS - PRICELESS!
On the first day, she sadly packed her belongings.
On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining-room table, by candle-light; she put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water.
When she'd finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimps dipped in caviar into the hollow center of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
On the fourth day, the husband came back with his new girlfriend, and at first all was bliss. Then, slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning, mopping, and airing-out the place. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which time the two had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked! People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit.
Finally, they couldn't take the stench any longer, and decided they had to move, but a month later - even though they'd cut their price in half - they couldn't find a buyer for such a stinky house. Word got out, and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.
Finally, unable to wait any longer for a purchaser, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
Then the ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for having the house.
Knowing she could have no idea how bad the smell really was, he agreed on a price that was only 1/10th of what the house had been worth but only if she would sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within two hours his lawyers delivered the completed paperwork.
A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home, and to spite the ex-wife, they even took the curtain rods!
I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?
On the first day, she sadly packed her belongings.
On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining-room table, by candle-light; she put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water.
When she'd finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimps dipped in caviar into the hollow center of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
On the fourth day, the husband came back with his new girlfriend, and at first all was bliss. Then, slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning, mopping, and airing-out the place. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which time the two had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked! People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit.
Finally, they couldn't take the stench any longer, and decided they had to move, but a month later - even though they'd cut their price in half - they couldn't find a buyer for such a stinky house. Word got out, and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.
Finally, unable to wait any longer for a purchaser, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
Then the ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for having the house.
Knowing she could have no idea how bad the smell really was, he agreed on a price that was only 1/10th of what the house had been worth but only if she would sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within two hours his lawyers delivered the completed paperwork.
A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home, and to spite the ex-wife, they even took the curtain rods!
I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?
05-02-2012, 04:43 PM
#3
Super Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: SC
Posts: 1,909
I once had a friend who had a situation where she was getting a divorce, and her ex INSISTED she give him her car. She fought it but eventually, he won. Or did he? She put catfish bait in every little nook and cranny she could find in that car...and I'll guarantee he doesn't know it to this day, only that the car had a "terrible " odor....heheheh!!
05-03-2012, 07:51 PM
#5
Junior Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 199
Originally Posted by momto5
I once had a friend who had a situation where she was getting a divorce, and her ex INSISTED she give him her car. She fought it but eventually, he won. Or did he? She put catfish bait in every little nook and cranny she could find in that car...and I'll guarantee he doesn't know it to this day, only that the car had a "terrible " odor....heheheh!!
05-04-2012, 03:08 AM
#6
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Maine, Where else!
Posts: 1,526
As a wedding joke, a friend of mine's brother put Roquefort cheese on his motor. That truck stank to high heaven every time you turned the motor on for a good 6 months. Since we were in Alaska at the time there wasn't anywhere to replace it.
05-04-2012, 08:47 AM
#8
Super Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: East Arkansas
Posts: 2,534
I know someone that almost the same thing happened except she put the shrimp inside the new windows (you know, the double paned ones?) and let her large dog have free 'range' of the house before she left. This couple really deserved each other - shame they parted to inflict pain on someone else.
05-04-2012, 08:14 PM
#9
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: No. Virginia
Posts: 43
hehe... best revenge I heard was a friend of the family's husband cheated on her with his very young - (later -pregnant) mistress... he was rather obsessive about his hair. She put a bottle of nair hair remover mixed into his conditioner... most people leave conditioner on for at least a few minutes. She was in the room when he started to blow dry his hair... and boy did it fly .... later on of course, the mistress had the nerve to call her and cry about how he was running around behind her back... ummmm hello! can I buy you a clue? wow...
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