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Thread: Bad day at Hallmark.....funny

  1. #26
    Super Member katyquilter's Avatar
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    Funny, too bad some are really true!!

  2. #27
    Super Member
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    those are cute and i think if there was such a card out there i know some people that i would send them to

  3. #28
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    When it is apropo........is that how the card line "Maxine"

    started with all the [rye] wry remarks? Ditter you are too funny!

  4. #29
    Super Member madamekelly's Avatar
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    Good thing I wasn't taking a drink when I read these!

  5. #30
    Senior Member charhend's Avatar
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    O.K., you always put a smile on my face!!

  6. #31
    Super Member Crlyn's Avatar
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    :thumbup: :lol: :lol: :lol:

  7. #32
    Senior Member
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    i had broken up with a boyfriend, back in the '60s, when "contemporary cards" were still new. i had fallen hard, and was heartbroken when things ended. i found a birthday card for him that said:

    "i tied a string around my finger so i wouldn't forget your birthday!"

    "so--HAPPY FINGER!!"

    i loved it.

  8. #33
    Senior Member hereca622's Avatar
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    These would funny, if they weren't soooo true.

  9. #34
    Power Poster Tweety2911's Avatar
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    Thanks for the laughs Ditter:-)

  10. #35
    Junior Member
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    Good stuff. Keep it coming.

  11. #36
    Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by drivingsusan
    O my!!!!!
    A few of those I would really like to send :oops: :oops:
    Me, too.

  12. #37
    Super Member
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    Thanks for the Laugh that is Funny!!

  13. #38
    Super Member BettyGee's Avatar
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    With the exception of the first one, you should put out your own line of cards. They are very good.

  14. #39
    Super Member KSue's Avatar
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    I have seen this before. Some are hilarious!

  15. #40
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    Oh my those are funny, Thank You Ditter

  16. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ditter43
    Bad day at Hallmark
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day........



    ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

    My tire was thumping.
    I thought it was flat

    When I looked at the tire...

    I noticed your cat.

    Sorry!



    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~


    Heard your wife left you,
    How upset you must be.

    But don't fret about it...

    She moved in with me.




    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

    Looking back over the years

    That we've been together,

    I can't help but wonder...

    "What the hell was I thinking?"




    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

    Congratulations on your wedding day!

    Too bad no one likes your husband.




    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

    How could two people as beautiful as you

    Have such an ugly baby?




    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

    I've always wanted to have
    Someone to hold,

    Someone to love.

    After having met you ..

    I've changed my mind.




    -------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------

    I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.

    I never believed in Hell until I met you.




    //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

    As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

    That you're not here to ruin it for me.




    ################################################## ##

    Congratulations on your promotion.
    Before you go...

    Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

    You'll probably need it again.




    ************************************************** ******************************

    Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

    (Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky & West Virginia )




    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~

    Happy birthday! You look great for your age.

    Almost Lifelike!




    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

    When we were together,
    You always said you'd die for me.

    Now that we've broken up,

    I think it's time you kept your promise.




    //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

    We have been friends for a very long time ..

    let's say we stop?




    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++

    I'm so miserable without you

    it's almost like you're here.




    ================================================== ===

    Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

    Did you ever find out who the father was?




    %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

    Your friends and I wanted to do

    Something special for your birthday.

    So we're having you put to sleep.




    )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))


    So your daughter's a hooker,
    And it spoiled your day.

    Look at the bright side,

    it's really good pay

  17. #42
    Super Member sewingsuz's Avatar
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    Ditter, They pay less funnier people then you at a lounge I go to in the summer, it is called Monday Funday and it is at a Casino on the reservation. You would be great on stage.

  18. #43
    Senior Member pinebeltquilter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ditter43
    Bad day at Hallmark
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day........



    ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

    My tire was thumping.
    I thought it was flat

    When I looked at the tire...

    I noticed your cat.

    Sorry!



    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~


    Heard your wife left you,
    How upset you must be.

    But don't fret about it...

    She moved in with me.




    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

    Looking back over the years

    That we've been together,

    I can't help but wonder...

    "What the hell was I thinking?"




    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

    Congratulations on your wedding day!

    Too bad no one likes your husband.




    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

    How could two people as beautiful as you

    Have such an ugly baby?




    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

    I've always wanted to have
    Someone to hold,

    Someone to love.

    After having met you ..

    I've changed my mind.




    -------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------

    I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.

    I never believed in Hell until I met you.




    //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

    As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

    That you're not here to ruin it for me.




    ################################################## ##

    Congratulations on your promotion.
    Before you go...

    Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

    You'll probably need it again.




    ************************************************** ******************************

    Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

    (Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky & West Virginia )




    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~

    Happy birthday! You look great for your age.

    Almost Lifelike!




    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

    When we were together,
    You always said you'd die for me.

    Now that we've broken up,

    I think it's time you kept your promise.




    //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

    We have been friends for a very long time ..

    let's say we stop?




    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++

    I'm so miserable without you

    it's almost like you're here.




    ================================================== ===

    Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

    Did you ever find out who the father was?




    %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

    Your friends and I wanted to do

    Something special for your birthday.

    So we're having you put to sleep.




    )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))


    So your daughter's a hooker,
    And it spoiled your day.

    Look at the bright side,

    it's really good pay

  19. #44
    Senior Member
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    St. Clair Shores, Michigan
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    I worked at Hallmark for 11 years. One year, for our summer promotion weekend, I dressed up as Maxine, and I got to walk around, mimicking Maxine. I enjoyed it sooooo much. Maxine is a hoot. A lot of the sayings above could have been said by Maxine. My favorite---"A good picture of you naked would cure a bad case of hiccups!" Oh, the reactions I got saying that one...........

  20. #45
    Super Member janiesews's Avatar
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    I have known a few people I could have sent some of those to. :lol:

  21. #46
    Super Member audsgirl's Avatar
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    And you look like such a sweet person!

  22. #47

    Join Date
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    350
    Your Awsome Ditters thanks for the laugh !!!

  23. #48
    Senior Member yellowsnow55's Avatar
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    Australia
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    Ah, why can't we buy those anywhere?

  24. #49
    Super Member brendadawg's Avatar
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    MN / GA
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    Ditter, you always brighten my day. Where do you come up with these things??? Thanks for the smile.

  25. #50
    Super Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    1,249
    Quote Originally Posted by LindaJ
    You should have your own card line. Funny!
    aint that the truth!!

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