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Thread: Bad day at Hallmark.....funny

  1. #1
    Super Member Ditter43's Avatar
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    Bad day at Hallmark
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day........



    ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

    My tire was thumping.
    I thought it was flat

    When I looked at the tire...

    I noticed your cat.

    Sorry!



    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~


    Heard your wife left you,
    How upset you must be.

    But don't fret about it...

    She moved in with me.




    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

    Looking back over the years

    That we've been together,

    I can't help but wonder...

    "What the hell was I thinking?"




    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

    Congratulations on your wedding day!

    Too bad no one likes your husband.




    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

    How could two people as beautiful as you

    Have such an ugly baby?




    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

    I've always wanted to have
    Someone to hold,

    Someone to love.

    After having met you ..

    I've changed my mind.




    -------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------

    I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.

    I never believed in Hell until I met you.




    //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

    As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

    That you're not here to ruin it for me.




    ################################################## ##

    Congratulations on your promotion.
    Before you go...

    Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

    You'll probably need it again.




    ************************************************** ******************************

    Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

    (Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky & West Virginia )




    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~

    Happy birthday! You look great for your age.

    Almost Lifelike!




    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

    When we were together,
    You always said you'd die for me.

    Now that we've broken up,

    I think it's time you kept your promise.




    //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

    We have been friends for a very long time ..

    let's say we stop?




    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++

    I'm so miserable without you

    it's almost like you're here.




    ================================================== ===

    Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

    Did you ever find out who the father was?




    %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

    Your friends and I wanted to do

    Something special for your birthday.

    So we're having you put to sleep.




    )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))


    So your daughter's a hooker,
    And it spoiled your day.

    Look at the bright side,

    it's really good pay

  2. #2
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    Funny!!!

  3. #3
    Super Member drivingsusan's Avatar
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    O my!!!!!
    A few of those I would really like to send :oops: :oops:

  4. #4
    a regular here
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    There are some that I would send also!!!

  5. #5
    Moderator littlehud's Avatar
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    Those are funny. Thanks for the laughs.

  6. #6
    Power Poster CarrieAnne's Avatar
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    LOL!

  7. #7
    Super Member maryb119's Avatar
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    Funny!

  8. #8
    Senior Member Missysgottohelp's Avatar
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    These are wonderful. I can think of a few I would love to make cards out of. LOL.

  9. #9
    Super Member MaryStoaks's Avatar
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    Thanks Ditter! I needed that! :thumbup:

  10. #10
    Super Member quiltgrammyt2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by drivingsusan
    O my!!!!!
    A few of those I would really like to send :oops: :oops:
    same here :thumbup: :mrgreen: :thumbup:

  11. #11
    Super Member quiltnut4ever's Avatar
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    what a hoot! loved this!

  12. #12
    Super Member Dollysquiltingmom's Avatar
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    LOL

  13. #13
    Super Member C.Cal Quilt Girl's Avatar
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    LOL and a Big O Grin !! :)
    Some of those are mean, Funny but mean... and scarey True!!

    Thanks :)

  14. #14
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    Thanks!!!

  15. #15
    Senior Member LindaJ's Avatar
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    You should have your own card line. Funny!

  16. #16
    Junior Member zelda2's Avatar
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    we can always count on you to put smiles on our faces! thanks!

  17. #17
    Power Poster sandpat's Avatar
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    Those are hilarious! There something to be said for more than a few of them! : :lol: :lol: :lol:

  18. #18
    Super Member sewwhat85's Avatar
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    so funny

  19. #19
    Senior Member
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    Reminds me of the nasty Valentines we could buy and give to people when I was a child in the 30's.

    Clever and biting but how many times hasn't remarks like this crossed our minds, and stayed there?

    Carol J.

  20. #20
    Super Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Missysgottohelp
    These are wonderful. I can think of a few I would love to make cards out of. LOL.
    Do you scrapbook? AHA

  21. #21
    CrazyAunt's Avatar
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    Really funny. Thanks

  22. #22
    Power Poster amma's Avatar
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    ROFLMBO

  23. #23

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    How true, How true!!!!!!!!!

  24. #24
    Super Member isnthatodd's Avatar
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    Thanks from all of us here in my classroom (adults) for a few great laughs!!!

  25. #25
    Senior Member mrs theo's Avatar
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    I think I'll save these, you never know when you'll need an appropriate card :lol:

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