Bad day at Hallmark.....funny

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01-31-2011, 06:35 PM

#41

gramieb

Member

Join Date: Dec 2010

Location: North/Western, Pa.

Posts: 37

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ditter43

Bad day at Hallmark
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day........

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat

When I looked at the tire...

I noticed your cat.

Sorry!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~

Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it...

She moved in with me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

Looking back over the years

That we've been together,

I can't help but wonder...

"What the hell was I thinking?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

Congratulations on your wedding day!

Too bad no one likes your husband.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

How could two people as beautiful as you

Have such an ugly baby?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

I've always wanted to have
Someone to hold,

Someone to love.

After having met you ..

I've changed my mind.

-------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------

I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.

I never believed in Hell until I met you.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

That you're not here to ruin it for me.

################################################## ##

Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.

************************************************** ******************************

Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky & West Virginia )

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~

Happy birthday! You look great for your age.

Almost Lifelike!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

When we were together,
You always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,

I think it's time you kept your promise.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

We have been friends for a very long time ..

let's say we stop?

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++

I'm so miserable without you

it's almost like you're here.

================================================== ===

Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Your friends and I wanted to do

Something special for your birthday.

So we're having you put to sleep.

)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

So your daughter's a hooker,
And it spoiled your day.

Look at the bright side,

it's really good pay

01-31-2011, 06:50 PM

#42

sewingsuz

Super Member

Join Date: Nov 2010

Location: Arizona

Posts: 7,850

Ditter, They pay less funnier people then you at a lounge I go to in the summer, it is called Monday Funday and it is at a Casino on the reservation. You would be great on stage.

01-31-2011, 06:53 PM

#43

pinebeltquilter

Senior Member

Join Date: Jul 2010

Location: Richton, MS

Posts: 580

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ditter43

01-31-2011, 07:08 PM

#44

grmamrtha1

Senior Member

Join Date: Jan 2011

Location: Michigan

Posts: 426

I worked at Hallmark for 11 years. One year, for our summer promotion weekend, I dressed up as Maxine, and I got to walk around, mimicking Maxine. I enjoyed it sooooo much. Maxine is a hoot. A lot of the sayings above could have been said by Maxine. My favorite---"A good picture of you naked would cure a bad case of hiccups!" Oh, the reactions I got saying that one...........