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Thread: Beware - this happened to me!!!

  1. #1
    lbc
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    Senior Member lbc's Avatar
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    IMPORTANT MESSAGE

    You've no doubt heard about people who have
    been abducted and had their kidneys removed
    by black-market organ thieves.

    My thighs were stolen from me during the night
    a few years ago. I went to sleep and woke up
    with someone else's thighs. It was just that
    quick. The replacements had the texture of
    cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these
    and what happened to Mine? I spent the
    entire summer looking for my thighs.

    Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to
    living out my life in jeans. And then the
    thieves struck again.

    My bottom was next. I knew it was the same
    gang, because they took pains to match my
    new rear-end to the thighs they had stuck me
    with earlier. But my new bottom was attached
    at least three inches lower than my original!
    I realized I'd have to give up my jeans for
    long skirts.

    Two years ago I realized my arms had been
    switched. One morning I was fixing my hair
    and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper
    arm swing to and fro with the motion of the
    hairbrush. This was really getting scary -
    my body was being replaced one section at
    a time. What could they do to Me next?

    When my poor neck suddenly disappeared
    and was replaced with a turkey neck, I decided
    to tell my story. Women of the world wake up
    and smell the coffee! Those 'plastic' surgeons
    are using REAL replacement body parts -
    stolen from you and Me! The next time someone
    you know has something 'lifted', Look again -
    was it lifted from you?

    THIS IS NOT A HOAX. This is happening to
    women everywhere Every night.
    WARN YOUR FRIENDS!

    P.S. Last year I thought someone had stolen
    my Boobs. I was lying in bed and they were
    gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was
    relieved to see that they had just been hiding
    in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them
    hidden in my waistband.

    P.P.S. Those same thieves just came into
    my closet and shrank my clothes!
    How do they do that????

  2. #2
    Senior Member dpparris's Avatar
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    Like Thieves in the Night! LOL

  3. #3
    Power Poster amma's Avatar
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    LMBO

  4. #4
    Super Member ssgramma's Avatar
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    Too funny!

  5. #5
    Senior Member lindy-2's Avatar
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    ha ha

  6. #6
    Super Member 0tis's Avatar
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    OMG - I thought I was the only one - we can have a pity party together. That was one of the funniest I have read in a long time....:)

  7. #7
    Senior Member
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    I wondered what happened!

  8. #8
    Senior Member Mrs B's Avatar
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    LOL It's true, and while you're all up and working and sewing 'they' sneak down to Aust. and do the same thing....
    LOL

  9. #9
    Super Member AgapeStitches's Avatar
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    So that's what's going on....hubby thought I was crazy!!!

    ROFLMBO

  10. #10
    Super Member IrelandDragonQuilting's Avatar
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    ROFL toooooo funny!!!!

  11. #11
    Power Poster littlehud's Avatar
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    Oh so funny. They have been to my house too.

  12. #12
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    same thing happened to me.lol

  13. #13
    Power Poster sueisallaboutquilts's Avatar
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    Yup, they came to my house too. I'm a heavy sleeper so they had no trouble.
    HAHAHAHAHAHA love it! :D

  14. #14
    Super Member Dollysquiltingmom's Avatar
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    So funny!!!!!

  15. #15
    Super Member wanderingcreek's Avatar
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    They have been here too! They had no trouble as I am a heavy sleeper as well. LOL

  16. #16
    Super Member feffertim's Avatar
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    So funny.

  17. #17

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    Now, I know what happend to me. first my grandmother, then my mother and now ME, and I thought all along it was hereditary.

  18. #18
    Super Member shawnemily's Avatar
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    LOL

  19. #19
    Power Poster CarrieAnne's Avatar
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    lol!

  20. #20
    Senior Member quiltingsavta's Avatar
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    What a great laugh I just had.

  21. #21
    Junior Member
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    This is too funny, thanks for sharing.

  22. #22
    Super Member Yooper32's Avatar
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    You need to quit writing about me, now that just isn't too nice, dontya see?

  23. #23
    Senior Member Greyhound Mom's Avatar
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    That happened to me too.!!!!

  24. #24
    Senior Member JuneD's Avatar
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    Is that what it is????? I thought I was imagining it!!!! Ladies, we need to unite!!!!

  25. #25
    Junior Member quiltease's Avatar
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    I was wondering what happened to my old butt. Now I know. And here I was blaming time, gravity and peanut butter!!
    bev.

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