Go Back  Quiltingboard Forums > General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk)
diary of a dog/diary of a cat >

diary of a dog/diary of a cat

diary of a dog/diary of a cat

Old 12-04-2010, 10:26 AM
  #1  
Senior Member
Thread Starter
 
drgranny's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: slaton, texas
Posts: 752
Default

Excerpt from a Dog's Diary....... .
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpt from a Cat's Diary...

Day 983 of my captivity... .

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine
lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort
of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must
eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to
disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had
hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates
what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about
what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in
solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the
noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power
of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my
advantage.



Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors
by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow --
but at the top of the stairs.


I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog
receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more
than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.



the bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards
regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged
protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now.
drgranny is offline  
Old 12-04-2010, 10:44 AM
  #2  
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 380
Default

as one who has both species--how true, how true!
Kathy-Pgh is offline  
Old 12-04-2010, 10:44 AM
  #3  
Senior Member
 
twospoiledhuskies's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Northern CO
Posts: 958
Default

Well, I guess I have alot of retards and one captive. Can't be to bad.... she's wrapped in her blanket sucking on her arm.

Very funny, thanks :-D
twospoiledhuskies is offline  
Old 12-04-2010, 11:21 AM
  #4  
Junior Member
 
emptyshellamy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA
Posts: 193
Default

LOL, thank you, that had me laughing!! Sounds like the craziness around here with the dog & cats :D
emptyshellamy is offline  
Old 12-04-2010, 12:43 PM
  #5  
Super Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: At my LQS
Posts: 2,326
Default

:lol: :lol: :lol: So funny. Thanks for sharing this!
JanetM is offline  
Old 12-04-2010, 12:44 PM
  #6  
Cyn
Super Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Jacksonville NC
Posts: 6,510
Default

LOL That is so my life! I love it! Thanks for the laugh!
Cyn is offline  
Old 12-04-2010, 02:30 PM
  #7  
Power Poster
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 17,068
Default

Oh my gosh, soooo true!!
Can't wait to send this to all my pals. Thanks! :D
sueisallaboutquilts is offline  
Old 12-04-2010, 03:40 PM
  #8  
Super Member
 
plainjane's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 1,705
Default

I do think the cats own us!
plainjane is offline  
Old 12-04-2010, 04:00 PM
  #9  
Super Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 1,341
Default

The cat I used to have did the mouse thing to me. I screamed and the cat took off running at top speed for another room; meanwhile I think I got out of the house before the cat got to the other room! Sad thing is my dog did the same darn thing months later. Repeat preformance.
Willa is offline  
Old 12-04-2010, 04:06 PM
  #10  
Super Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Sparta, TN
Posts: 1,211
Default

so cute
TN Donna is offline  
Related Topics
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
bearisgray
General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk)
68
06-11-2018 07:59 AM
Favorite Fabrics
General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk)
21
10-20-2012 07:12 PM
merry
Main
8
01-26-2011 11:14 AM
KathyAire
General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk)
5
07-22-2010 03:51 AM
craftybear
General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk)
25
06-03-2010 09:13 PM

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


FREE Quilting Newsletter