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Thread: A funny for today

  1. #1
    Super Member Ditter43's Avatar
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    A funny for today

    Blonde Mortician

    A man who'd just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.


    The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.


    The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'

    The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly...

    She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied.. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?'


    To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.

    'There's no charge,' she says.

    'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.


    'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'


    {get ready}.........................




    'So I just switched the heads.'



    (BET YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING!!!)
    I quilt, therefore I am.

  2. #2
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    No, I did not see that coming!!!! Sooo funny and glad to see you back, Ditter.
    Retired USN Senior Chief

  3. #3
    Moderator QuiltnNan's Avatar
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    nope, didn't see that one coming
    Nancy in western NY
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  4. #4
    Super Member sewingsuz's Avatar
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    I love it! No I did not see it coming!
    Suzanne
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  5. #5
    Super Member juneayerza's Avatar
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    Ditter is differently back!
    June

  6. #6
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    Good one! Love it when you just don't see it coming!!

  7. #7
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    Thanks for the chuckle.
    Good to 'see' you Ditter!

  8. #8
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    Thanks for the funny!!! I always enjoy your funnies! Keep them coming.

  9. #9
    Senior Member kyquiltlover1942's Avatar
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    Thanks for the laugh out loud.

  10. #10
    Super Member callen's Avatar
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    OMG, very funny. Nice to see you back Ditter, you have been missed. I couldn't help but notice how many of QB past contributors are missing of late. Where have they gone ???
    Dance like no one is watching

  11. #11
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    thanks Ditter

  12. #12
    Power Poster ManiacQuilter2's Avatar
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    NO, I didn't see THAT coming !!
    A Good Friend, like an old quilt, is both a Treasure and a Comfort

  13. #13
    Super Member coopah's Avatar
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    NO!!! Did not see that coming...AT ALL! Thanks, Ditter, for the laugh!
    "A woman is like a tea bag-you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water." Eleanor Roosevelt

  14. #14
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    Oh, Ditter, how I have missed you! You and a blonde joke - can't get any better than that!

  15. #15
    Super Member maryb119's Avatar
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    Good one, Ditter!

  16. #16
    Junior Member scarlet14's Avatar
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    You have been missed---Welcome back Ditter, and I hope it's for good

  17. #17
    Super Member Roberta's Avatar
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    So glad to see you posting again Ditter.

  18. #18
    Super Member
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    Ditter is definitely back! We've missed you.

  19. #19
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    OMG!! Hilarious!! Can you just imagine what you would do if this really happened? Thank You so much, I needed this.

  20. #20
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    Oh my!!!!!!!!!!

  21. #21
    Senior Member mjmachin's Avatar
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    Yep, that was a zinger that's for sure!!! Thanks for the laugh for today.

  22. #22
    Community Manager PatriceJ's Avatar
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    i'm a blonde.
    but i couldn't help laughing at that one!

    ditter, you are priceless!
    I Quilt, I Nap, I Quilt Some More ... Aaaaah, The Good Life!

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  23. #23
    Power Poster
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    G r o a n.

  24. #24
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    I sure missed all your funnies. Glad to see you back.

  25. #25
    Super Member materialgrl's Avatar
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    Glad your back ditter

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