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Thread: Grandparents --ENJOY!

  1. #1
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    1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. *After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" *I will* probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye....

    2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. *He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 62. * My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, *"Did you start at 1?"

    3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. *As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. *Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, *putting them back to bed with stern warnings. *As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice,
    "Who was THAT?"

    4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like. *"We used to skate outside on a pond. * I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. *We rode our pony. *We picked wild raspberries in the woods."
    The little girl was wide-eyed, *taking this all in. *At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

    5. *My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we alike?'' *"You're both old," he replied.

    6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she was writing a story.
    "What's it about?" he asked. *
    "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."

    7. *I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. *I would point out *something and ask what color it was. *She would tell me and was always correct. *It was fun for me, so I continued. *At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these colors *yourself!"

    8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, *we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. * Still, a few fireflies followed us in. *Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use Grandpa. *Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."

    9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure." *"Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised *"Mine says I'm 4 to 6."

    10. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? *We learned how to make babies today." *The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting." she said. *"How do you make babies?" *
    "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."

    11. Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote: *"The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." * The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked.
    "Sure," said the young boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child."

    12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. *Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. *The children started discussing the dog's duties.
    "They use him to keep crowds back," said one child.
    "No," said another. "He's just for good luck."
    A third child brought the argument to a close."They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."

    13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. *"Oh," he said, "she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. *Then, when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the airport."

  2. #2
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    Thanks Matilda! Very funny! Number 9 really cracked me up!

  3. #3
    Super Member raptureready's Avatar
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    That was so fun to read.
    I was going to garage sales last Friday and went to one where a little boy said to me, "Guess what?" "What?" I asked. He said, "Today is my birthday! I'm three years old!" I said, "Oh I hope you have a happy birthday. Yesterday was my birthday, since I'm a day older than you does that make me 4?" He looked me up and down a couple of times and said, "No, you're older than that, you have to be 5." Being newly 57 that was a real laugh for me.

  4. #4
    Power Poster sueisallaboutquilts's Avatar
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    I loved it!!! How funny kids are. And Rapture, that was darling!! :D

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    Super Member rwquilts's Avatar
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    Thank You! These are precious!

  6. #6
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    Oh Rapture How funny!!

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    Great way to start the morning!

  8. #8
    Super Member raptureready's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sueisallaboutquilts
    I loved it!!! How funny kids are. And Rapture, that was darling!! :D
    It was, I really enjoyed that little boy. He was so talkative! I gave him a couple of dollars for his birthday even though I didn't know him. He was so thrilled he didn't even want to let his grandma hold it for him until they could go to the store later.

  9. #9
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    Thanks for the smiles!

  10. #10
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    Enjoyed reading your message, it makes me smile.
    Betty Lee

  11. #11
    a regular here MegsAnn's Avatar
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    Love it

  12. #12
    Super Member Ditter43's Avatar
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    No matter how many times I have read these precious things children say, it always brings a smile to my face.

    These are the things we need to remember when they are teenagers and on some days we seriously wish there was such a thing as retroactive birth control! :D :D

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ditter43
    No matter how many times I have read these precious things children say, it always brings a smile to my face.

    These are the things we need to remember when they are teenagers and on some days we seriously wish there was such a thing as retroactive birth control! :D :D
    LOL!!!!

  14. #14
    Super Member Quiltforme's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ditter43
    No matter how many times I have read these precious things children say, it always brings a smile to my face.

    These are the things we need to remember when they are teenagers and on some days we seriously wish there was such a thing as retroactive birth control! :D :D
    NO KIDDING!!! 2 teenage girls in my home and I am so thankful my 4yo says such cute things to keep me from sending the other 2back!!

  15. #15
    Moderator Jim's Gem's Avatar
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    Precious!! I can't wait until I have a little grandchild of my own!!!!

  16. #16
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    They are so much fun Gayle!!

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    Nothin better than when my GD calls out of the blue and says"Whatcha doin Grammy? Iam just hangin out."(2 1/2)

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